How to Hold a Cockroach // Book Review

How to Hold a Cockroach: A book for those who are free and don't know it

By Matthew Maxwell, Illustrated by Allie Daigle

★★★★☆

"As time went on, the story seemed so true that he couldn't tell it was made up. It just became a fact. ... But then a miracle happened."

A quick synopsis taken from the back of the book:

“In this tale for all ages, a suffering boy begins a life-changing journey when a menacing guest disturbs his dinner. Confronted one-by-one by the apparent sources of his torment, the boy eventually discovers a way to freedom and joy. With a surprising and simple message, How to Hold a Cockroach is a love letter to humankind, a book for all who are free and don’t know it.”

My thoughts:

At only 103 pages with illustrations, How to Hold a Cockroach is a quick read that I finished in about 45 minutes. I would even call it a children’s book, as it’s easy, straightforward, and simplistic in its writing style. Certainly, this book is accessible to nearly everyone.

It’s one of those inspiring reads. Its whole purpose is to encourage us, as readers, to take a pause and honestly consider how we’re viewing our world. What kind of attitude are we taking into each day? When faced with difficulty, how do we respond? We’re also asked to dig deeper and consider what long-held thought patterns we’re harboring and where those patterns originally formed. How did they come to root themselves in our sense of being?

As I read this book, I explored these questions, and naturally I found myself relating more than I care to admit to our main character, the boy. His frustrations, his inclinations to respond negatively… It all hit close to home. Like previously mentioned, this book is written for all ages, and it’s writing is very direct and simple. That simplicity caters to the message that’s being delivered - it really is “that simple” to adjust one’s mindset. Through each chapter we see the boy being confronted with a challenge, his initial response that comes from a negative space, and the moment of slowing down where the boy questions why he feels negatively. We then see the boy accepting that he doesn’t have to feel this way, that there is another, more joyous option.

The major lesson we see is that happiness is a choice, and it is our responsibility to actively choose happiness every day. And we can make excuses all day long why we can’t be happy, but truly, choosing happiness is “that simple.” We can’t always control what happens around us or to us, but we can control how we respond. Happiness and optimism are always part of our choices, always.

But I also liked how this little book addressed emotions and the need to feel. In the chapter titled “The Boy and Emotion,” the boy allows himself to be sad, to be angry. And he gives himself the space to feel those emotions and release them. Even though we should be striving to choose happiness, this chapter acknowledges the importance of balance and the toxicity of burying our emotions. We need to give ourselves permission to feel what we need to feel - the good, the bad, and the ugly.

A final big takeaway for me was the impact that trauma, particularly childhood trauma, can have on us as we grow into adulthood. Throughout each chapter, the boy references an incident that happened to him, and nearly all of these incidents occurred when he was very young. As a new parent, it reminded me of the responsibility I have to not project my own issues onto my child. I need to always be mindful of how I speak to her and around her. Good or bad, she will internalize it, and it’s up to me to make sure she’s absorbing that which is healthy and constructive.

Overall, How to Hold a Cockroach is a great little book. It’s one that I can see myself rereading each year to remind myself that the root of my problems is not the problems themselves but how I perceive and react to those problems. It’s a book for adults and children alike and a message from which we can all benefit. If you’re looking for something simple and easy that touches on self improvement and the meaning of life, this book delivers.